Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Name Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN BOY To get to the other side.

PLATO For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY Because that's the only trip the establishment would let
it take..

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, 'Thou shalt cross the road.' And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

RICHARD M. NIXON The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

BILL GATES The newly released Chicken 2003, will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook.

DARWIN Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads.

EINSTEIN Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference and
relativity.

GEORGE BUSH We are committed to establishing a democracy where
chickens freely cross roads without oppression from terrorist
organizations.

Azharuddin I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being
dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority...... I
neither know the chicken nor the road, you know....

George Fernandes I am deeply hurt that this question is being
asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or
a car, leave alone a chicken !!!

Mulayam I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the
chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their
motives being questioned

ARJUN SINGH Our policy will ensure the development of socially
underprivileged chickens so that they can also cross roads.

Abdul Kalam Yes, why did the chickens cross the road? ..
please tell me why? .. they crossed to go to the other side of the
road... now repeat after me ....

Advani I see Pakistani hand in this ...

Vatal Nagaraj No Tamil or outside chickens will be allowed to
cross our roads, our roads are meant only for Kanadiga chickens!.

Bal Thackarey Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture,
my followers will stone all such chickens which cross the road.

Jayalalithaa From reliable sources I've got the information
that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi. He is making his chicken
cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken has now
been imprisoned under POTA.

Amitabh Bachhan The chicken has crossed the road?.. are you
sure.. very sure ... really sure...

Venkaiah Naidu ' We are very sure of the fact that the
chicken did not cross the road. It's a conspiracy by the congress. The
poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in this whole issue'

H.S.Surjeet We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have
convened a meeting of the third front today. We will decide the future
course of action after the chicken comes back..

Maneka Gandhi Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a
vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest
creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect our
chickens...

ROMANTICS

  THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
  RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND
  LINE:
  
  
  
  1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
  Marrying you has screwed up my life.
  
  2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
  That's why I always wake up screaming.
  
  3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
  This describes everything you are not.
  
  4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
  But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
  
  5. I thought that I could love no other
  -- that is until I met your brother.
  
  6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are
  you.
  But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
  empty and so is your head.
  
  7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
  But don't take that paper bag off your face.
  
  8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
  Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
  
  9. My love, you take my breath away.
  What have you stepped in to smell this way?
  
  10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
  Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
  
  11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
  Two parts vodka, one part lime.
  
  WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING
  
  

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