Smiles

English in Pakistan - we're in the same boat!

Management Jokes

 

From the mouth of babes....

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic!


1. Don't change horses...................until they stop running.

2. Strike while the..........................bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before.........Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of ....... termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but....... .. how?

6. Don't bite the hand that ........... looks dirty.

7. No news is............impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a ............. Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new ........ math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ..........stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust ........... me.

12. The pen is mightier than the ............. pigs.

13. An idle mind is.......................the best way to relax.

14. Where there's smoke there's .............. pollution.

15.. Happy the bride who.....................gets all the presents.

16. A penny saved is .........! .........not much.

17. Two's company, three's ................. the Musketeers.

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .................. you put on to go to bed.!

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry....... and you have to blow your nose.

20. There are none so blind as .......Stevie Wonder.

21. Children should be seen and not ......spanked or grounded.

22. If at first you don't succeed ............... get new batteries.

23. You get out of something only what you .............. see in the picture on the box.

24. When the blind lead the blind .................... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than ..............pregnant.

Indian Student

The Indian Student

 

It was the first day of a school in USA and
a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth
grade.

 

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

 

 

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar,
who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

 

 

'Very good!'

 

 

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for
the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

 

 

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln,
1863' said Chandrasekhar.

 

 

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be
ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its
history than you do.'

 

She heard a loud whisper: 'F*ck the Indians,'

 

 

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his
hand up.

'General Custer, 1862.'

 

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna
puke.'

 

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who
said that?'

 

 

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister, 1991.'

 

 

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck
this!'

 

 

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand
and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,
1997!'

 

 

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little
shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

 

 

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his
voice, 'Michael Jackson to the child witnesses
testifying against him- 2004.'

 

 

 

The teacher fainted.

 

 

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the
floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

 

 

 

And
Chandrasekhar said quietly, "I think it was the Republican
Party, November 4, 2008."