Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Don't trust kind lawyers
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two
men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat
grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the
lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there,
under that tree'.
'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!'
'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large
as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the
lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us
with you.'
The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass
is almost 1 metre high!'
Lesson : Don't trust kind lawyers!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tourism Queries!
The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who
obviously have an excellent sense of humour!
Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me
a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian
Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ....... Sure, the hippo racing is
every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees.. Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions..
Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it.
Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in
Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/ gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and
make good pets.
Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime..
Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
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