Sum Good Puns

 

  Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
  Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

  A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

  Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
  What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed
  With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

  The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
  Every calendar's days are numbered.
  A lot of money is tainted -  Taint yours and taint mine.

  A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  Acupuncture is a jab well done.