Funny , Indian communities. I am proud to be part of this milieu. Ihope you are too !!!

Funny , Indian communities. I am proud to be part of this milieu. I hope you are too !!!

Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall..
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey ..
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Mumbaikar
One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Mumbaikars= film studio.
Three Mumbaikars = slum.
Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the
train at rush hour.

Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar ...
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association. .

Marwari
One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta
Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi
One Haryanavi = tube light.
Two Haryanavis = agriculture.
Three Haryannavis = Lathi squad.
Four Haryanavis = actually just one was enough.

Last but the best

Kannadiga
One kannadiga = devegowda
Two kannadigas = devegowda with his son Kumarswamy
Three kannadigas = rivals of devegowda family
Four Kannadigas = total no of kannadigas in bengaluru

Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav .
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = train capture.
Four Biharis = caste riots
Five Biharis = entire literate population of Patna ...

Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengalis = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team.

Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY ?????????

WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY
We are like this only so true, so very true..........
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini, Shalini & Sonali.)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere, close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says "No Food
Allowed" 10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other "Uncles and Aunties" will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old.
(And they prefer it that way).
23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two  decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
33. Its embarrassing if you're wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it to as many Indians as possible.

Murphy's Law and More

Murphy's Law

If anything can go wrong, it will.go wrong.

Corollaries:

1. Nothing is as easy as it looks.

2. Everything takes longer than you think.

3. If there is a possibility of several things goin wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

4. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way will promptly develop.

5. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

6. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

7. Every solution breeds new problems.

8. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.(and determined)

9. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

The Murphy Philosophy:

Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.

Murphy's Constant:

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.

Quantization Revision of Murphy's Law::

Everything goes wrong all at once.

Hill's Commentaries on Murphy's Law:

1. If we lose much by having things go wrong, take all possible care.

2. If we have nothing to lose by change, relax.

3. If we have everything to gain by change, relax.

4. If it doesn't matter, it does not matter.

O'Toole's Commentary on
Murphy's Law:

Murphy was an optimist.

Zymurgy's Seventh Exception to Murphy's Law:

When it rains, it pours.

Boling's Postulate:

If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

White's Statement:

Don't lose heart ...

Owen's Commentary on White's Statement:

they might want to cut it out ...

Byrd's Addition to, Owen's Commentary onWhite's Statement:

... and they want to avoid a lengthy search.

Iles's Law:

There is always an easier way to do it.

Corollaries:

1. When looking directly at the easier way, especially for long periods, you will not see it.

Neither will Iles.

Chisholm's Second Law:

When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Corollaries:

1 . When things just can't get any worse, they will.

2. Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

Chisholm's Third Law:

Proposals, as understood by the proposer, will be judged otherwise by others.

Corollaries:

I. If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

2. If You do something which you are sure wi meet with everybody's approval, somebody won't like it.

3. Procedures devised to implement the purpose won't quite work.