Funny one liners

 

*   I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in,

 she said: Cheque books.

 

 *   The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the

 prices of new car.

 

 *   What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

 

  *   What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

 A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

 

 *   Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

 

   *   Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

 Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

 

 *   Q: Why dogs don't marry?

 

 

 

A: Because they are already leading a  dog's  life!

 

 *   Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?

A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

 

 *   Santa enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again.

Why?

 

Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.