On Battle Tanks and Blanks by George Timothy

George Timothy (with apologies to Lewis Caroll)

ON BATTLE TANKS AND BLANKS

“The time has come” the Colonel said,

“When I must get promoted,

Every other fool has been,

And this my nagging wife has noted,

For I have battled long enough

To gain a glorious name,

And if my battles none I have won

Its because my horse is lame.

But just this once I must succeed,

And you my staff must tell

How with what we haven to got,

We can fight the foe”

“Fight the foe?” the staff echoed

“That we dare not do.

For though he is much weaker

He is also so much meeker

So why this talk of fighting foe

When we could just turn tail and go”.

“A plan, you fools” the Colonel screamed

“One plan for every man

To tell him what he should not do

To win a war or two”.

So on they reached a dead end

While the Colonels face much reddened.

Till spoke a passing madman

The Colonel’s passing batman

“A mighty charge with battle tanks

Supporting arms to fire blanks”.

Which set the Colonel thinking

And his staff a blinking.

The Colonel now a General is

His statues looming large

His conquests wide and varied

His ugly daughter married

He still proclaims the art of war

Now echoed far and near

“A mighty charge with battle tanks

Supporting arms to fire blanks."