Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer:     'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'. Operator:     'Where did you get that number from, sir?'. Customer:     'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.. Operator:     'Sir, they are our opening hours'. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Samsung Electronics Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?' Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'. Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC  wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.                    Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'           Operator:      'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller:          'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?' Operator:      ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ): 'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?' -------------- -------------------------------------------------------- Directory Enquiries Caller:               'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'. Operator:          'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?' Caller:               'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator:        'Woven? Are you sure?' Caller:             'Yes.. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '. -------------------------------------- -------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'. Customer:             'OK'. Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'. Customer:             'No'. Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?' Customer:             'No'. Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'. Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support:          'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?' Customer:                 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.' Operator:        'What sort of trouble??' Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.' Operator:         'Went away?' Caller:              'They disappeared.' Operator:         'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?' Caller:              'Nothing.' Operator:         'Nothing??' Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.' Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??' Caller:              'How do I tell?' Operator:         'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??' Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?' Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?' Caller:              'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.' Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator??' Caller:              'What's a monitor?' Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??' Caller:               'I don't know.' Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??' Caller:              'Yes, I think so.' Operator:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller:              'Yes, it is.' Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??' Caller:               'No.' Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.' Caller:               'Okay, here it is.' Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.' Caller:               'I can't reach.' Operator:          'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??' Caller:               'No.' Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your kn ee on something and lean way over??' Caller:               'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.' Operator:          'Dark??' Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Operator:          'Well, turn on the office light then.' Caller:               'I can't.' Operator:          'No? Why not??' Caller:               'Because there's a power failure.' Operator:          'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.                         Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??' Caller:               'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.' Operator:           'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it    from.' Caller:                'Really? Is it that bad?' Operator:            'Yes, I'm afraid it is.' Caller:                 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??' Operator:            'Tell them you're too bloody stupid to own a computer!!!!!'