Classy Insults

When Insults Had Class.........

There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious
insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued,
before a great portion of the English language was boiled down to
four-letter words!

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were
my husband, I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife,
I'd take it.'

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: 'Sir, you
will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'
'That depends, sir,' said Disraeli, 'On whether I embrace your
policies or your mistress.'

'He had delusions of adequacy.' – Walter Kerr.

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' -
Winston Churchill.

'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'-Winston Churchill.

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.'-Clarence Darrow.

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?' - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner).

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it.' – Moses Hades.

'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I
know.' – Abraham Lincoln.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it.' - Mark Twain.

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'-Oscar Wilde.

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... if you have one.'-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one!' - Winston Churchill, in response.

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -
Stephen Bishop.

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'- John Bright.

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial.'-Irvin S. Cobb.

'He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.'
- Samuel Johnson.

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' -Jack
E. Leonard.

He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'-Robert Redford.

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge.'-Thomas Brackett Reed.

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' -
Charles, Count Talleyrand.

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.'-Forrest Tucker.

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?' – Mark Twain.

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' – Mae West.

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'- Oscar Wilde.

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts…. for support,
rather than illumination. '- Andrew Lang (1844-1912).

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' – Billy Wilder.

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho Marx